I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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