If i come over, it means nothing
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
