and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
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By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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