I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
