Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
