You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
