The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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