3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
