In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
