I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You need a sexual gate keeper
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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