Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I forgot wine drunk hurts
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize