hell yes lets make some ravioli
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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