there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
