I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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