I am in a vortex of obligation.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
