You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
