Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
