my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Vodka?
Forever.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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