I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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