I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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