I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
