So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
