Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
