dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
and eventually we just all took our pants off
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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