Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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