Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety