Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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