We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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