Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize