11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
