I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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