All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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