Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
