physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize