how can u be prego again
I need help removing her.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
