Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
this is an emotional support booty call
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
