oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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