You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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