Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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