I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
