HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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