I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
someone owes me an orgasm
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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