is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
