Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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