it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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