Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
