Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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