She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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