I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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