I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
