You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
