it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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