When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
