I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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