Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
