3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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