if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
