I'm sorry my penis didn't work
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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