Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
