do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
