im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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