we're blogging at a bar
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
