I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
